lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
