pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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