That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
