I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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