Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
