dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
did i walk over a car last night?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
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