she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
