The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize