I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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