Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
