ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
