1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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