i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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