make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize