Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
