I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
