Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
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It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
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I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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