Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
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He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
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I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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