Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Will exercising make me less horny?
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