I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
