theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
