I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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