I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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