After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
