i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
