So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
