My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
