Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
