I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
