Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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