ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
