just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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