Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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