i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
