end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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