Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
