is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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