Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
