Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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