I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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