Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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