NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
