Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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