I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
