I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
