watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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