But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
