ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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