Soap is not a condiment
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
