we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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