she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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