You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
