I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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