Life is so much better after having sex.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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