I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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