ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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